This is where MSS 5th grade students will be discussing a variety of topics related to ancient Greece and Rome.
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Sunday, April 29, 2012
Romulus & Remus - Diary Entry
Read the Romulus & Remus Origin story in the handout from Thursday's class. Then follow the directions form the 3rd page and choose one of characters listed to write a diary entry from their point of view.
I am writing from the view point of:Amulius the king of Alba Longa. Today I finally over through my dispicaple brother and became the king the olnly person from his family I have spared is his daughter. 8 days later:today I found that my nese is raising two baybie boys so I had them all drowned. Now finally I wil never have to see any of my brothers family again and live in piece.
Today I found two boys wandering around while I was tending my flock of sheep. I took them home and my wife and I decided to raise them. We have taught them to read and write. Finally we were attacked by bandits and we were separated. That was the last we saw of them. We miss the boys very much.
From the point of view of Romulus- Today me and Remus were deciding a name for our city. 12 vultures encircled me and 6 encircled Remus. Our city shall be named Rome. But Remus kept taunting me, so I pierced his body. I didn't mean to kill him...
That is a great diary entry! It really tells the story from his prospective. I really like when u ended it by I didn't mean to kill him... It made me think hard about what he was saying. Great job!
4.29.12 Romulus and Remus ( The Shepherd’s Wife) Dear Diary, Today I found twin baby boys in a cave. The twins were apparently raised by wolves and woodpeckers. We were attacked by bandits and the bandits took Remus, one of the twins. We also heard about Romulus’s fortune in his life. At least Romulus lived. Rhea is Romulus and Remus’s real mom. Back in the cave when the twins were little babies, the woodpecker would bring food like nuts and berries for them to eat.
From point of view from the shepherd’s wife. Dear Diary, Today my husband found twin baby boys and brought them home. I felt shocked, excited and most of all nervous. I thought how am I going to care for them? But the babies were so cute, I could not help but give them a smile. The animals told us their names and I started not to worry. I thought if animals can raise them I surely can too. Wish me luck!
I really liked how you explained your emotions when you were writing form the shepherd's wife's perspective and said that you were scared at first and the you felt better about it. I like how you said " Wish me luck!"
Dear Diary, Today I have killed my twin brother, Remus. Remus kept taunting me so I drew my sword and accidentally hurled my sword at Remus. He slowly fell to the ground and died. I feel very guilty for I have done and very sad. I wish I could take back what I have done. I sat by Remus’s body all day until someone found us and to him to the cemetery. And after that Rome was founded, where my brother, Remus had died.
I like the writing and the dicriptiveness, but it doesn't sound like you have done anything that makes it sound regretful. I also like you showed your feelings and that was the good part about it.
Today i have just about had a enough. First my husband tells me he's going to take a walk on a beautiful day when i want to hangout. He comes back with 2 children (babies)! I see animals come up to me and tell them the kids names! I started to like the kids and said i will take of them as long as it takes them to grow up. (shepherds's wife)
When I was a baby, along with my brother Remus, two wolves and a woodpecker picked me up as their son. 5 . bandits broke in and I was petrified 10 years old. Later when I was about en my brother, and I stumbled across a city that had our grandfather. We had shots at the throne but it came down to us two . They prayed for a sign and I the one who got encircled by hawks captured the throne. Later in my 30’s i accidentally killed my brother.
I loathe my younger brother! He stole the throne away from me and that means that I loose. Why do so many people think he is so great? I was the King in the first place! “King” Amulius does not deserve to be the king. I am the rightful king and I shall be it. There is nothing left for him to copy off of me. Amulius has to do everything I do, almost like a game. Furthermore, I deserve to be king!
4-26-12 Journal to Blog My Story Dear Diary, Today I am going to die. I have to drown myself in a river. My two little boys too. My plan is to put them in a basket and hopefully they will float safely to land. I am hopeful that a nice family will take them in and raise them as their own. I love my boys so much. I wish the best for them after I die.
I like how you started the diary entry with the date and what you where doing: 4-26-12 Journal to Blog then you told what you where writing about: My Story Dear Diary, that was the best entry i've seen.
Dear Diary, Today I found two twin boy in a cave who were apparentally raised by wolves and woodpeckers. My husband and I took care of them for ten years. We taught them how to read and right. We also taught them to defend our family from the bandits, but unfortuatally one day we were out numbered and surronded by bandits. Romulus escaped, but Remus was captured and brought before the bandits leader. I was very sad that my two “sons” were gone. And I knew I would probably never see them again.
Just pure brilliance from you here. I have never expected something less than this from you and you have not disappointed me at all. I suppose you will keep the quality work going on. Corso LIS roma
I am writing from the view point of:Amulius the king of Alba Longa.
ReplyDeleteToday I finally over through my dispicaple brother and became the king the olnly person from his family I have spared is his daughter.
8 days later:today I found that my nese is raising two baybie boys so I had them all drowned. Now finally I wil never have to see any of my brothers family again and live in piece.
i like how you did something that nobody else did because i like to read different comments
DeleteToday I found two boys wandering around while I was tending my flock of sheep. I took them home and my wife and I decided to raise them. We have taught them to read and write. Finally we were attacked by bandits and we were separated. That was the last we saw of them. We miss the boys very much.
ReplyDeleteFrom the point of view of Romulus- Today me and Remus were deciding a name for our city. 12 vultures encircled me and 6 encircled Remus. Our city shall be named Rome. But Remus kept taunting me, so I pierced his body. I didn't mean to kill him...
ReplyDeleteThat is a great diary entry! It really tells the story from his prospective. I really like when u ended it by I didn't mean to kill him... It made me think hard about what he was saying. Great job!
Delete4.29.12 Romulus and Remus ( The Shepherd’s Wife)
ReplyDeleteDear Diary, Today I found twin baby boys in a cave. The twins were apparently raised by wolves and woodpeckers. We were attacked by bandits and the bandits took Remus, one of the twins. We also heard about Romulus’s fortune in his life. At least Romulus lived. Rhea is Romulus and Remus’s real mom. Back in the cave when the twins were little babies, the woodpecker would bring food like nuts and berries for them to eat.
I really enjoyed this post. I liked it because you put in a lot of emotion in your writing. I could almost feel the pain you were feeling.
Delete-Elisabeth
From point of view from the shepherd’s wife.
ReplyDeleteDear Diary,
Today my husband found twin baby boys and brought them home. I felt shocked, excited and most of all nervous. I thought how am I going to care for them? But the babies were so cute, I could not help but give them a smile. The animals told us their names and I started not to worry. I thought if animals can raise them I surely can too. Wish me luck!
I like how you explained your character's emotions and expressed your confusion.
DeleteI really liked how you explained your emotions when you were writing form the shepherd's wife's perspective and said that you were scared at first and the you felt better about it. I like how you said " Wish me luck!"
DeleteI really like this because you told the feelings that someone would have.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDear Diary,
ReplyDeleteToday I have killed my twin brother, Remus. Remus kept taunting me so I drew my sword and accidentally hurled my sword at Remus. He slowly fell to the ground and died. I feel very guilty for I have done and very sad. I wish I could take back what I have done. I sat by Remus’s body all day until someone found us and to him to the cemetery. And after that Rome was founded, where my brother, Remus had died.
i love this because it shows great detail about what happened to remus when he died and how sad it was.....
DeleteI like the writing and the dicriptiveness, but it doesn't sound like you have done anything that makes it sound regretful. I also like you showed your feelings and that was the good part about it.
DeleteToday i have just about had a enough. First my husband tells me he's going to take a walk on a beautiful day when i want to hangout. He comes back with 2 children (babies)! I see animals come up to me and tell them the kids names! I started to like the kids and said i will take of them as long as it takes them to grow up. (shepherds's wife)
ReplyDeletei like how you did a small characters perspective and how you put good detail into it
DeleteI drew my sword and threw it at Remus, it pierces his chest and as he falls, I do too. He falls in a pool of blood as I drown in a pool of tears.
ReplyDeleteyour description is brilliant and i love how you said i fell in a pool of tears
Deleteyours is so good I wish mine was like mine
Delete(From the point of view of Romulus:)
ReplyDeleteDear Diary,
When I was a baby, along with my brother Remus, two wolves and a woodpecker picked me up as their son.
5 . bandits broke in and I was petrified
10 years old. Later when I was about en my brother, and I stumbled across a city that had our grandfather. We had shots at the throne but it came down to us two . They prayed for a sign and I the one who got encircled by hawks captured the throne.
Later in my 30’s i accidentally killed my brother.
The Legend of Romulus and Remus
ReplyDeleteKing Numitor:
Dear Diary,
I loathe my younger brother! He stole the throne away from me and that means that I loose. Why do so many people think he is so great? I was the King in the first place! “King” Amulius does not deserve to be the king. I am the rightful king and I shall be it. There is nothing left for him to copy off of me. Amulius has to do everything I do, almost like a game. Furthermore, I deserve to be king!
4-26-12 Journal to Blog
ReplyDeleteMy Story
Dear Diary,
Today I am going to die. I have to drown myself in a river. My two little boys too. My plan is to put them in a basket and hopefully they will float safely to land. I am hopeful that a nice family will take them in and raise them as their own. I love my boys so much. I wish the best for them after I die.
I like how you started the diary entry with the date and what you where doing:
Delete4-26-12 Journal to Blog
then you told what you where writing about:
My Story
Dear Diary,
that was the best entry i've seen.
Dear Diary,
ReplyDeleteToday I found two twin boy in a cave who were apparentally raised by wolves and woodpeckers. My husband and I took care of them for ten years. We taught them how to read and right. We also taught them to defend our family from the bandits, but unfortuatally one day we were out numbered and surronded by bandits. Romulus escaped, but Remus was captured and brought before the bandits leader. I was very sad that my two “sons” were gone. And I knew I would probably never see them again.
Just pure brilliance from you here. I have never expected something less than this from you and you have not disappointed me at all. I suppose you will keep the quality work going on. Corso LIS roma
ReplyDelete